MAGNIFICAT

Those of you who sing, share with me the joy of reading or hearing spoken words that automatically set you off on a singing tangent.  Today as I read Luke 1, I had the experience of hearing Sherin Brown sing the opening line of Rene Clausen’s “Magnificat.”

It was the first year I had the joy and great privilege of singing with University of Puget Sound’s Adelphian Concert Choir under the direction of Paul Schultz.  After watching my older sister from the audience and aspiring to be the next Mannon girl, at last it was my turn to become a part of this legendary, elite ensemble.

At eighteen years old, my understanding of composition and taste in music was beginning to mature.  I was taking theory and music history classes, and becoming exposed to sounds I’d never heard before.  I was collaborating with the most talented musicians in the country.  And then this song:  SSAATTBB—lush, crazy, I-never-knew-that-chord-existed, pushing-the-boundaries beauty.  It hit the sweet spot of musical fulfillment for me, not only as a listener, but as a participant.  That was me—one of the “A’s” in that SSAATTBB—helping to create that other-worldly sound.

Because of my past experience, no setting of Magnificat will ever equal Clausen’s, and today I was happy to find this recording so I could relive the moment.  As I listened, I was reminded of the longing I often felt during my college years while singing sacred music.  I remembered being moved to tears as I expressed words written by men and women who loved God.  But because I didn’t believe in God, I sang their words as an actress putting on the cloak of a believer, not as one participating in the spiritual experience myself.  I cried because I was a good actress, but also because I longed for an authentic encounter with God.

Eight years after graduating from UPS, pregnant with my second child, I experienced that authentic encounter with God, and ever since, have had the joy of singing to the object of my longing, not only about Him.  Today, as I listened to my beloved Magnificat, I was moved to tears again, as the joy of my college music experience merged with the joy of my faith, in a gloriously complete outpouring to my God.

A SOBERING AGE

I have reached a sobering age.

When the kids have been put to bed after baths, stories, prayers, kisses, and conversation; and my body finally hits the chair; and the sweet silence is broken by a child screaming, “There’s a bug in my room!”  I don’t reason with the child about size ratios, the bug’s disinterest in him, or a bug’s right to live.  I get up and squash the bug.

When an elderly parent can’t make it to the bathroom on his own, shower himself, shave himself, feed himself, or dress himself; I get up and do what is required to preserve his health, comfort, and dignity.

When a child crawls into bed with me at 3am and throws up in my bed, all over himself and me; I don’t roll over and go back to sleep.  There is nothing else to do but get up, clean it up, and care for the child.

I have begun to read obituaries.

I have been to the Emergency Room.  Often.

I have made some sacrifices.

I have handled vomit, urine, feces, lice, blood, puss, drool, snot, rotting things, and dead things.

I have buried parents and watched my friends do the same.

I have reached a sobering age.  An age in which my theories about life are tested daily against the reality of life.  I have learned that reality always wins.  And while that might seem depressing, unimaginative, hopeless, or just old and grumpy, I find it comforting to know that no matter what the latest theory or ideal, I can always count on bodily fluids, and matters of life and death, to point me in the direction of truth.

GHOST TOWN

We go camping every year, to the same campsite, and do the same things.  It’s a family tradition.  One of the places we always visit is the old ghost town of Molson, Washington.  This year, we finally made it over to the Schoolhouse Museum.  As a former school teacher and lover of old things, I was captivated.  I took some pretty good pictures, too.  You can download them if you want.